since there’s nothing left to say

“I think I’ll be a clown when I get grown,” said Dill.  “Yes, sir, a clown…. There ain’t one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I’m gonna join the circus and laugh my head off.”  “You got it backwards, Dill,” said Jem.  “Clowns are sad, it’s folks that laugh at them.”  “Well, I’m gonna be a new kind of clown.  I’m gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks.” 

~To Kill a Mockingbird

God knows why you’re such an irresponsible, stuck-up, spoilt brat who only knows how to complain all day long.

bitch.

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don’t get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

i like lakes better than the sea though.  lakes are calmer and less dangerous, in a way.  i still don’t know the significance of this particular planet, though i’d love to read that book(Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) someday.  the theory about men being like a rubber band keeps appearing in tv shows and movies!

You Are Like a Horse

You are strong, steady, and devoted. You are a good partner.You are gentle and sensitive. You can be easily frightened.You are usually quite stable, but you do have a wild streak that comes out from time to time.You are cooperative and not a solitary creature. You like to be around others.

What Pet Are You Like?

i like horses.  and i miss Brownie dearly.  hamsters are clearly not a substitute.

-

i don’t know why i’m posting all of these.  there is actually a part within me who wants to spill everything out, but i guess this is not the right time and place to be in.  there is a melancholy within me, somehow.  as i bitterly conceive happiness to be merely transient…

haha this is really funny!

A little while ago, my friend translated “liar, liar, pants on fire” into French and then back into English. The result was “Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted.” Today, while standing in line at the check out, a woman tried to convince the cashier that she didn’t owe $5.67 but only $4.89. I calculated quickly in my head and immediately blurted out “Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted!” Best part: The woman screamed and looked. The cashier was crying from laughter. So was the cop standing behind me. MLIA

for all the times

Promotional Exams: Raw Scores

English Lit : B
Economics: B
Mathematics: D
Geography: D

i’ll leave the thoughts to myself.

well well well

what am i doing here, listening to X-Japan on loop when i’m supposed to finish I&R and OP slides/script for tomorrow?  when i begin to take a sip of green tea, the stairway to nirvana will be carved.  i don’t know what the hell i’m talking about.  there’s good tv on tonight, so i’m going to watch it for 2hours.

i suddenly feel like watching Before Sunrise again.  everything about it is so beautiful and tender, especially Kath Bloom’s song.  i think it’s so sweet that there are so many scenes of the movie on youtube, with the people posting them proclaiming it to be the best part of the movie.

post-exam period(of sorts?) always makes me feel like saving money.  and then i find it such a brilliant thing to do, plan to do it for the whole of next year but still fail anyway.  i should really jot down such silly traits in a notebook, so i can look at them 10 years later and see if i still do them.  i guess we’re all goldfish swimming in the same bowl.

a lot of things got pushed to me today.  i’m not feeling overwhelmed, i’ll just have to take a deep breath, step up and clear all these responsibilties.  i’m really tired today, though.  i haven’t recovered and when there’s just so much stress every day i expend even more energy trying to convince myself that it will all be OK.

we’re getting our papers back tomorrow.  i really hope we get to keep our 4 H2s.

music:  the young fellas – the cribs

i wanted to put up a very smart/witty/offensive cartoon up here but then decided against it, so here’s something cute and friendly instead:

Your results:

You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Robin 58% Supergirl 55% Wonder Woman 50% Green Lantern 45% Iron Man 45% Superman 40% Batman 40% Hulk 40% Catwoman 40% The Flash 20%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

i think Robin is cute, too.  or at least in the way they portrayed him in Teen Titans.  wowza.

so i’m sick again, but not blogging because i’m bored stiff from a day off.  i had an MC but still wasted my time with certain ugly faces in school today.  i think i’ll use it another day.  it should be quite easy to put correction fluid over the date, right???  it’s the second time i’ve fallen sick in an approximate 4 weeks, so i thought it was kinda scary at how the money’s going out so easily to my doctor, hence post here.  i hope i haven’t gotten something scary, like a chronic illness.  i just know it was the late nights that toppled me over before the promos.  during exam period i was also eating whatever i liked whenever i wanted, because i rationalised that i needed the satisfaction, or lack of grumpiness to keep me going.  so it was all junk and now i’m ill and “heaty”.  i think that’s what’s really happening, because i burned at 38.2degrees on sunday afternoon.  then i lost my voice for a while and there are ulcers in my mouth.  the weather’s been really tough recently, too, and i sorta-kinda think i complained a lot more than i drank water(to replenish whatever’s lost, yeah).  what’s ironic is that i intended to go for a swim on sunday to get in form.  i’m very obviously being held back from being better here.  the only good thing about being sick is that now i’ve completely lost my appetite there’s a really good chance that i’m going to lose weight.  but then i start being a bit more conscious of myself and gahhhh í really feel fat, and then i want to exercise and everything gets mixed up because i can’t prioritise.  so you give some and take some?

quiet time

music: wish you were here – pink floyd

bah so it’s been a long time since i last posted.  exams are over and i’m having a 5-day(i think) break from school.  it’s not as fun as i thought it’d be, since the 3rd day is already ending and i haven’t went out to hang out since friday night.  during which i didn’t get to eat ajisen too, but that’s okay because i got to unwind.

i finished reading a book, after a really, really long time.  so embarrassing, but it’s Bridget Jones.  aha.  ahahahaha.  it was incredibly funny, though i was alternating between smirking and feeling sorry for myself when i was reading it.  i know i can’t hope for life to be better anymore!!!  so i went to Facebook and God told me to just free all my worries and rest well this night.  recently the messages i’ve found on the application have been very appropriate and encouraging, so i’ve been finding myself being a little inclined towards religion.  it never feels right though, because it’s such a terrible thing, choosing to believe just so i can save my own wretched skin.  and also when i take a look at my school.  it’s funny too, because all this encouragement comes from the Internet, but  if God was truly watching He would use all sorts of ways to get this message to me.  hmm.

ok going to read a next book soon.  can’t decide because i have 3 choices: 
1.superbly annoying Jane Eyre which i’ve been trying to read for more than a year now
2.oranges are not the only fruit(my text for next year), which was very interesting.  i didn’t manage to finish reading it though, because the june holidays were too short.
3.on the road(due date’s 30 oct)

went to the gym today.  i decided that guys are v smelly.  don’t want to turn lesbian either, and 4 years of cedar has only shown how i don’t swing that way.  how?  </joke>  okay i don’t know really.

not that orange is my favourite colour, really.

You Are Apple Iced Tea

You are warm hearted and generous. You believe it’s important to make others feel comfortable.You are a bit of a cozy homebody who feels out of place in the warm weather. You’ll drink iced tea but you prefer the hot stuff.You are more serious than most, and you shy away from superficial people. You prefer to look beyond the surface.You like deep conversations, engrossing novels, and moving films. You find ideas and human interaction fascinating.

What Flavor Iced Tea Are You?

You Are Freaky and Funny

You’re the type of person who can sit all day without feeling bored or boring others.You find the world entertaining. There’s always something going on that you can riff on.You give a first impression of being eccentric. Luckily, most people find your weird ways to be highly entertaining.You are an armchair philosopher. You are constantly developing your unique, quirky take on life.

The Chair Test

this is ridiculous, but i’m laughing:

Disliking Gym Says You Are Thoughtful

You are thoughtful, philosophical, and downright cerebral.For you, gym is too intense and competitive. You aren’t always in the mood for playing hard.You may or may not be into exercise – but any physical movement you do is under your own terms.You don’t get your happiness through thrills or adrenalin rushes. Your bliss comes from quiet reflection.

What Does Your Least Favorite School Subject Say About You?

You Are East

Like many Asian cultures, you tend to be reserved and conservative. You don’t believe that your internal emotional life is anyone’s business.People admire that you are together and responsible. You’re the type of person who seems to be living a good life.Sometimes you come across as a bit cold and humorless. You only show the easygoing side of yourself to people you know well. You make a good judge of ethical issues. You see right and wrong easily, without letting emotion color your opinion.

Are You North, South, East, or West?

You Are a Lizard

You are intuitive and sensitive. You pay close attention to your subconscious and your dreams.You embrace your fears and the darker side of life. It’s easy for you to be detached and objective when you need to be. You are able to let go easily. You don’t get attached to much. And considering how often you change course, people shouldn’t get too attached to you.

What Reptile Are You?

You Want to Impress People You Know

You want friends and family to think you’re beautiful. You mostly focus on inner beauty and being a good person. You want your friends and family members to think you’re smart. You like been seen as insightful and wise. You are at your most playful when you are around people you don’t know well. You’re more serious around those you’re close to. You let strangers see parts of you right away, but you believe in keeping some things private. You don’t become close to many people. You only let people you’ve gotten to know very well in.

Who Do You Want to Impress?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

A Visit

I still remember love like another country
with an almost forgotten landscape
of salty skin and a dry mouth. I think
there was always a temptation to escape
from the violence of that sun, the sudden
insignificance of ambition,
the prowl of jealousy like a witch’s cat .

Last night I was sailing in my sleep
like an old seafarer , with scurvy
colouring my thoughts , there was moonlight
and ice on green waters.
Hallucinations. Dangerous nostalgia.
And early this morning you whispered
as if you were lying softly at my side:

Are you still angry with me ? And spoke my
name with so much tenderness, I cried.
I never reproached you much
that I remember, not even when I should;
to me, you were the boy in Ravel’s garden
who always longed to be good,
as the forest creatures knew, and so do I.

Elaine Feinstein